Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Oh mother.

Sometimes being a mother is a walk in the park, other times it is the most difficult thing I've ever had to do. With Eric having midterms and papers due, the last couple of days have felt like I was a single mother. I don't know how single mothers do it. My neighbor is a single lady who adopted her friend's daughter's baby 3 months ago. I was talking to her today and she said "it's nice that you have your husband so you can take off every once in a while." I rarely take off without at least one of the kids, but at least there is the option.

I've been pondering a LOT lately. It humbles me. I'm glad, because I feel that with all the pondering and inner questioning, eventually some positive changes will take place. Motherhood teaches you how little you know and how much you have to rely on a divine source of knowledge. I'm struggling with Reese becoming an older child. I know nothing of disciplining a child with a personality like hers. What discipline works, what is detrimental? I'm slowly learning how to teach her things: right from wrong, colors, games, words. I'm having a hard time getting Ivan on a good nap and nighttime sleep schedule, I've forgotten all the "tricks" :). Thankfully, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. This is my calling, my job, my responsibility - and God knows all. I'm trying to learn from Him how I can be the best I possibly can in all these new challenges in life.

It is a wonderful thing to have angels in your home to humble you. Thank you Reese and Ivan for being those angels. You've taught me what "mother's love" is. And you're allowing me to find my weaknesses so that I can turn to a higher source for strengthening.


Alison said...

I am having a hard time figuring out this discipline/tantrum thing, too. I read a really good column today in the Deseret News that isn't quite related to this, but still is about motherhood:


It's hard when your husband is away and not there to break up a normal day. Ethan wasn't done with work until 8:30 tonight - I can't even imagine what life would be like if that was the norm. You are a good mom and you are doing a great job with your kids - I am always impressed.

Heather said...

I LOVE this post. Thanks for your insights. I have been thinking a lot about motherhood recently too (and ironically blogged about it yesterday, too). It's amazing how completely wonderful and completely exhausting and frustrating being a mom is. I'm trying to treasure it because these sweet little angels like to grow up WAY too fast!

Jacob and Rachel Ellis said...

You are an amazing mother Nakita. Seriously. This post is indicative of that!